Review - X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Article originally published 05/01/2009 at geekinthecity.com

Make no mistake, Fox is behind the eight-ball with X Men Origins: Wolverine The embattled studio’s attempts at resurrecting the tarnished X-Men film franchise was seemingly scuttled a few weeks ago with the leaked ‘work print’ copy of Wolverine’s latest onscreen exploits. The leak was unexpected, if not altogether astonishing considering the completeness of the film. Fox was quick to inform fans that the version being swapped about through the gamut of file-sharing websites was an unfinished product, lacking both additional footage (the project did go through a series of re-shoots), digital FX and an original score.

Regardless, the movie found itself being downloaded more than 1 million times and the word was out… the movie was bad…

What amazes me about X Men Origins: Wolverine is not the film’s lack of originality. That was to be expected, if not hoped for by the leagues of comic fans who have always valued a direct comic-to-film translation over a “re-imagination” of their beloved characters. It wasn’t even the film’s waddling pace or ridiculous ending that I found annoying. Instead, I was most surprised by a single theme that is present through the entire move. Wolverine is a pussy. A character who what was once revered as one of the most violent and brutal anti-heroes in comics has finally been brought down to a whining, pizza-hocking, Slurpee-cup-toting, bone-clawed shell of his former self. Sure, the Wolverine of Fox’s franchise chomps cigars and drops the occasional “bub” during conversation. Hell, he even wears a fair amount of flannel.

Ultimately, none of these things work and Logan spends the majority of the film either screaming (at nothing in particular) or locked in the same (losing) battle with Sabretooth. Its a pale comparison to the gruff character Hugh Jackman brought to life onscreen in 2000’s X-Men, and its a sad thing to see happen to one of Marvel’s most popular characters.

At its core, Wolverine is nothing more than a series of generic fight scenes that attempt to hold together an unnecessary background story about a character that was far more fascinating when we knew less about him. The film starts with a brief recap of Logan and Victor’s childhood, where it is revealed that (at least in this universe) the two are brothers. After Logan (at this point, going by James - his real name) pops his claws for the first time, the two quickly decide that they need to stick together; to fend for themselves. This opening scene makes way for a surprisingly awesome credit sequence, which shows the brothers in combat during the Civil War, WWI, WWII and Vietnam. This credit sequence is righteous (that makes two this year, thanks to Watchmen) and it serves as an amazing introduction to an adult Logan (Jackman) and Victor (Liev Schreiber) as they make full use of their mutant healing factors while killing Nazi’s, Communists and a host of other bad guys.

Once this is out of the way, we are introduced to William Stryker (Danny Huston), a man whose name is familiar within X-Men lore. An older Stryker (played brilliantly by Brian Cox) was hinted as being the man responsible for Logan’s lost memories during X-Men 2. Here, we meet a younger version of the man, whose ambitions aren’t that far off from those destined in his mutant-hating future. Stryker serves as the film’s principal villain, and Huston does a serviceable job encapsulating the man who essentially ‘creates’ Wolverine by way of the Weapon X project. Throughout the film, Stryker and his operatives always seem to be one step ahead of Logan, at times even using Victor to bring Logan down and by the time poor Wolvie realizes that he has been played, there isn’t much for him to do but… well, scream.

Of course, there are several other mutant appearances in Wolverine. One of the most surprising of these, at least at the time of his casting, was that of Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool. Let me make one thing abundantly clear: Deadpool is not in this movie. Reynolds portrays a wisecracking soldier named Wade Wilson who has an affinity for swords, but his screen time is limited to less than three minutes and none of these involve his character doing more than deflecting bullets with his blades. That’s it. So, fans of the “merc with the mouth” can rest easy. Deadpool hasn’t been bent over a barrel in this film. Hell, he wasn’t even invited to the party. Reynolds’ character is cute, but it is so fleeting that by the time he’s cracked his first joke, we’ve cut to another shot of Wolverine… screaming. The Blob, Cyclops and Gambit also show up throughout the movie, with Gambit getting the most screen time. Horrible casting aside (LOST’s Josh Holloway should have portrayed the rajun Cajun instead of Taylor Kitsch) Gambit’s role seems to be regulated to that of the “plucky sidekick” to Logan. He slips in and out of a Southern/Cajun/Texan accent and ultimately looks his coolest when he is dealing cards at a poker table, not butting in on a fight between Wolverine and Sabretooth.

To say that X Men Origins: Wolverine is a disappointment would be to give the false notion that there was any hope left in this franchise. Even after the train wreck that was X-Men 3, Fox has clearly decided that there is still a need for 107 minutes of pacified, tedious back story on the only marketable member of the team. I suppose I should be angry because as a lifelong Marvel fan, I feel that Wolverine deserves better. But, I truly believe that Jackman’s best days as Logan are behind him and this will likely mark the end of his appearance onscreen as the Canucklehead. One bright spot in the film was most definitely Leiv Schreiber, who delightfully chews up every scene in which he appears as Victor Creed. If we have to lose Wolverine with this film, at least we’re finally gaining a decent Sabretooth. Whether he stays on and appears as Victor in future Marvel films is undetermined, but I’d be ecstatic to see Schreiber appear alongside Ian McKellen (as part of the REAL Brotherhood of Evil Mutants) in the rumored X Men Origins: Magneto. Until then, perhaps its best to just stay home, fire up the DVD of Bryan Singer’s X-Men, pop a beer and start chompin’ on a cigar. ‘Cause that’s the closest you’re going to get to a decent Wolverine story, bub.